


Turns out...it is easy

by Rüdiger (Weltenweber)



Series: Hogwarts Academy Host Club [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Calculating!Business!Harry, Gen, Humor, based on Ouran Host Club, host club, hosts, more humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 16:35:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9911510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weltenweber/pseuds/R%C3%BCdiger
Summary: Turns out founding a Host Club at Hogwarts is easy. At least it is when you are called Gilderoy and Harry Potter is your best friend.Includes:Gilderoy with a brilliant idea, a reluctant and business-like Harry and four Gilderoy victims - ehm, new club members.Strong AU!(Please see notes before reading )Based on Ouran Host Club, no crossover.





	

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** "Hogwarts Academy Host Club" is a fanfiction series taking place in the „Harry Potter Universe“ and inspired by the manga „Ouran High School Host Club“, which are owned by Joanne K. Rowling and Bisco Hatori respectively. I own nothing but the general plot.
> 
> This is not a crossover fanfiction but rather a fanfiction based on Ouran.
> 
>  
> 
> **  
> **  
> Please read before continuing:  
>   
> 
>  **Warning: strong AU** , meaning I am going to take a lot (and I mean a lot ) of liberties here. Especially concerning the characters currently attending Hogwarts and their school years and ages.  
> For the sake of this story you WILL encounter characters who are adults in canon attending Hogwarts together with Harry's generation, as well as several changes in character backgrounds and relationships.
> 
> May contain OOC and calculating!business!Harry
> 
> This has been written solely for fun, so expect lots of humor. And nonsense. Especially nonsense. And occasional touching scenes to better understand characters. (Sometimes I feel like getting dramatic). No seriousness here. Seriously. 
> 
>  
> 
> Please do not read if you do not like these things.
> 
>  
> 
> And now - I hope you have as much fun reading it, as I had writing it :D
> 
> ( **10/20/17** : Minor edits)

**_1.The cool host_ **

Gilderoy had a wonderful idea. Really wonderful - at least in his unbiased opinion.  
It was an idea born out of complete boredom. And it occurred to him during a particular long hot shower that he simply took because he had nothing else to do.

'This is boring', he thought and stared listlessly at the expensive, ridiculously ornamented shower tiles. 'I want to do something fun. Maybe I should join a club? But they are all so...boring.'

Gilderoy stopped the shower with a quiet sigh and dried himself with a wave of his sycamore wand. Still terribly bored he dressed himself and left for the common room. 

Flopping down on a particular soft looking couch close to the fire - his favorite spot, especially when he was in brooding mood -, he let his gaze wander across the room. 

Then he saw it. It was an magazine, probably left by one of the more gossip prone girls, sitting innocently on the side table next to the well-used armchair closest to the wide window facing the eastern side of the grounds. 

"That's..."

Eyes sparkling with excitement, Gilderoy jumped up, grabbed the magazine and run off in search of his best friend, nearly falling over himself in joy.

This was great. This was fantastic. This was - 

"Idiotic.", Harry remarked calmly and pushed his glasses up. 

He was sitting on his bed, lazily leaning against the headboard and holding the newest edition of "Business Weakly" in his right hand. He had been reading an interesting article about Chinese stock investment when Gilderoy came storming in, enthusiastically waving a magazine in his face and gabbling something about "boring" "hosts", "gobstone" and "clubs". 

It had taken him some time, and lots of skill in Gilderoy-handling, to finally understand that Gilderoy was - in fact - bored, did not want to join the gobstone club - who wanted him to anyway?- and decided to found his own club. Which was, Harry threw another glance at the magazine, apparently a Host Club. 

No way.

"I have no interest in something as ridiculous as that. Please leave."

"But Harry!", Gilderoy protested. "This is going to be really fun!"

"If you wish to charm girls that badly, do it on you own.", Harry answered, sounding completely unimpressed. 

Gilderoy jumped on Harry's bed and latched himself to his friends left leg. "Harry, please! You will like it, I promise."

"Gilderoy.", Harry stated in a deadly voice, his glasses glinting dangerously. "If you do not unhand me at once, I will relief you of these arms of yours."

His friend let out a high pitched yelp and jumped back. "Sorry, mon ami. But please reconsider. It will be more fun with you around. And besides.", he added slyly. "There are many girls here whose parents are clients of your company, right? If you make them happy they will probably tell their parents. It might be good for your business."

Harry stilled. His mind calculating the additional profit this might bring him. 'I might also be able to gain useful information from these girls', he thought. 

"Fine.", he finally started coolly. "But it will be your responsibility as the future president to find the rest of the members."

Gilderoy let out a whoop of joy and jumped in Harry's arms. "Thank you mon ami. I promise I will find the best people for it!".

"Get.Off.Me.", Harry growled, a demonic aura filling the room.

~*~

****

_**2.The Twin Devils**_

"Hey Fred."

"Yes, George?"

"Do you really think that was a good idea?"

"Well, it was hilarious, wasn't it?"

"Yeah...but don't you think he looks kind of mad?"

"That's Snape. He always looks mad."

"Point taken. Hey. Let's hide over there."

The twins ducked behind a gigantic tapestry bearing the Hogwarts sign.

"Do you think he will find us here?", Fred whispered quietly.

George peeked carefully past the cloth in front of him. The corridor was empty.  
"Well. He is not looking for us in particular", George answered carefully. "After all, he did not see us."

Fred hummed thoughtfully. "Yeah. But knowing him, he will accuse us, even without proof."

George snorted. "He always does it." Then he grinned. "And most of the time he is right."

Fred grinned, too. "Jep. But that one is so worth it. And besides, the paint will get out -" he paused. "Eventually."

Both twins snickered and stilled immediately as hurried angry footsteps echoed across the corridor.

Pressing themselves further against the wall the boys held their breath. And exhaled in relief as Snape rushed past them without noticing anything.

"We did it", Fred said grinning.

"Jep.", George agreed. "Now we just need to get back into the common room before Snape returns and we're out of the woods."

"That will take time.", Fred answered dryly. "He probably went to Dumbledore and is now complaining that man's ears off."

Laughing quietly the twins left their hiding place. 

"That was a rather good prank." , an amused voice remarked behind them.

Aghast, the twins whirled around and stared at a handsome boy who was smiling brightly at them, revealing his perfectly white teeth.

Blond locks where framing his rather aristocratic looking face, perfectly matching his amused looking blue eyes. He seemed to be slightly older then the twins.

'Probably a fifth year', Fred mused.

"Where do you suddenly come from?!", George demanded.

Still grinning the boy pointed at the door next to Fred. 

The twins followed his pointed finger.

_Men's bathroom_

was written in bright gold letters on the plaque above the door.

The twins sweat-dropped. 

"Regardless.", Fred finally said. "We have no idea what you are talking about. We didn't do anything."

George nodded emphatically.

The blonde boy grinned. "Suuuure", he drawled. "And because you did nothing you were hiding behind a tapestry from a pink haired potions professor."

Seeing the twins half-guilty, half-angry looks, he waved them off."But that's not what I want to talk to you about."

Fred raised his eyebrows. "You want to talk to us?"

"Who are you anyway?!", George demanded, still a bit peeved about being found out by this...ponce.  


The boy blinked. "Oh. Right. I didn't introduce myself. Where are my manners...", he muttered. Then he gave the twins another blinding smile and bowed exaggeratedly . "My name is Gilderoy Lockhart, I am a fifth year."

'So I was right', Fred thought, than he furrowed his brows. 'Gilderoy?' He had heard this name before, but could not remember where.

"So you are Harry Potters best friend.", George stated.

'Ah.', Fred's eyes lit in recognition. 'That's why it sounded familiar.'

Being called Harrys best friend seemed to brighten the boy in front of them even more. In fact, he started to sparkle so blindingly, that Fred and George had to pull up a pair of identical multi-colored star-shaped sunglasses. 

The boy drew himself up, puffed his chest proudly and answered in an exuberant voice. "Yes. I am his best friend." 

He was practically giddy at this thought. 

In his room Harry sneezed.

Slightly amused at the boys reaction the twins exchanged a curious look, wondering what Harry Potters best friend might want from them.

"So...", Fred started, unknowingly and effectively avoiding a Gilderoy-induced disaster."What do you want to talk about?" _~ His sunglasses shot off a bright yellow spark that formed into a canary. ~_

Gilderoy, who was just about to start gushing about his best friend, blinked in confusion. 

"Oh, right. I want to invite you to join my and Harry's club. It's going to be an exclusive one." _~ He tried to catch the canary, but it evaded him. He pouted. ~_

The twins blinked. Whatever they thought he wanted to talk about, that was not it.

"A club? What club?", both twins asked simultaneously. _~ Freds canary was joined by a blue fluffy looking ball with big eyes, that shot out off Georges sunglasses. ~_

Gilderoy showed his perfectly white teeth. "A Host Club." _~ Was that blue fluffy thing watching him? How creepy. ~_

Well. _That_ was certainly unexpected.

But _very_ interesting.

 

~*~

****

**_3.The cute and the stoic_**

  
Lucius unsheathed his sword. Cold metal glinted dangerously in the light of the dying sun, amplifying the last rays of the day and painting a picture of dancing diamonds, defiantly laughing in the face of the impeding night.

Lucius loved sunsets. There was something magical about the way the sky colored and nature prepared itself for sleep. It was that time of the day when he could practically feel the energy in the air and hear the breath of the world.

That was the reason he always went through his motions at that particular time of the day. He always felt like he was more energized, more in tune with himself and everything around him when he could simply stand next to the lake, watching the colors of the world fade into black and practice his sword techniques. 

Horace did not understand his fascination with it, but he respected Lucius love for the dusk and always accompanied him. Sometimes they stood in silence, but most of the time they trained. 

Horace was the captain of the karate club, Lucius presided over the Sword club. Both were masters in their own rights.

They loved their respective disciplines. But sometimes it felt like it was not enough. Like everything weighted them down.

It was at a moment like this, that Gilderoy found them.

He offered them something new. He encouraged them to be themselves. It took him long days to convince them. But finally they listened.

Gilderoy may be a goof most of the time, but once he got serious, his words could shake the world.

~*~

  


**_4.Getting permission_**  
  
  
Getting the headmaster to agree was even easier than convincing Fred and George to join his club. 

Which might have been because he had dragged Harry along with him. It was widely known that the raven haired teenager was Albus Dumbledore's favorite. A fact, that said man denied vehemently, but unconvincingly. Especially since he tended to act very familiar with his student, regardless of anyone else present.

Like now.

"Harry my boy!", Dumbledore exclaimed joyously and opened his arms ridiculously wide. "How nice of you to visit me! And you even brought young Gilderoy along! Please take a seat and have a lemon drop."

Harry plastered a charming smile on his face while mentally murdering his so-called friend for dragging him here and sat down in one of the gigantic red armchairs that was so fleecy and soft that it almost swallowed him whole. "Thank you, headmaster". He made himself as comfortable as possible and threw a dark glare at a worried looking Gilderoy, who was currently prodding one of the remaining armchairs, clearly afraid of getting eaten by fluffy furniture. 

Feeling a metaphorical bucket of ice being emptied over him, Gilderoy wisely decided that his friend was scarier then the headmasters furniture, hastily took one of Dumbledore's lemon drops and seated himself next to Harry,deliberately avoiding any eye contact. 

'Best not set of his ire' ,he thought. 'At least not more than I already have.'

"So", Dumbledore began jovially. "What can I do for you today? 

"Well", Harry began, throwing another angry glare at Gilderoy who was fervently sucking on his lemon drop and therefore _conveniently_ unable to speak.

"Gilderoy desires us to found a new club and wishes to acquire your permission for it." 

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. "And what kind of club would that be?"

"A Host Club", Gilderoy answered cheerfully and clearly. He was good at eating candy very fast.

Dumbledore blinked. "A Host club?"

His thoughts immediately wandered to the history book he had read last night and he imagined all of his students dressed in some roman - like armor.

"Yes.", Gilderoy opened his mouth to explain further, but was cut short by Harry's Just-be-silent-and-let-me-handle-this-before-you-make-everything-worse glance. Sulking Gilderoy took another lemon drop and watched as his friend pushed his glasses up and elaborated.

"We intent to serve tea to guests and entertain them with conversations while dressed up-", Harry paused for a moment. "in costumes."

Dumbledore hummed thoughtfully. 'Ah, seems like I was right.' Then he said loudly. "So it is a mixture between a tea party and theater."

"It can certainly be described that way.", Harry agreed calmly, deciding to leave the whole flirting aspect out of the conversation for now. "We have already found the required four other members.", he added. 

"What a splendid idea!", Dumbledore exclaimed suddenly. "Simply brilliant. You have my permission." 'It is always nice to see young people so passionate about history. And who am I to curb such enthusiasm?'

Without further ceremony the headmaster signed a slip of paper and pressed it into Harry's hand. "You can use the Room of Requirement. One of the elves will show you. And now please excuse me, I have to go and buy some new lemon drops. Have fun!"

And just like this both boys found themselves in front of the office door.  


Already used to their headmasters antics, Harry calmly pocketed the permission slip.

Gilderoy, however, was beyond excited. "We got it. We really got it!", he jumped up and down giddily. "Didn't we Harry? Didn't we?!"

Harry rolled his eyes at his friends overly joyous attitude and pushed his glasses up. "Yes we did.", he confirmed finally.

"YES!", Gilderoy exclaimed loudly and threw himself in Harry's arms.

His friend growled. "GET.OFF.ME!"

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to leave me your thoughts or comments, (or ideas for further Host Club adventures). Or just drop a line if you happen to find an error. - I am not a native speaker after all. =)
> 
> Yours truly  
> Rüdiger


End file.
